The Records Starts Here...

At the age of 11, I took it upon myself to denounce religion and the conceptions of Divinity that I was exposed to. In effect, I denounced God before I could learn what faith is (as my Baptists and Non-Denominational pastors were too busy trying to teach me "God's law", and not so much faith and spirituality). Immediately following my rejection of religion, with the hesitant tolerance of my parents, I declared myself atheist.

As a young Baptist Christian by birth, I was more attracted to the historical and present "thought" of the concept of God, and "thought" of life with its alleged it's meaning. I wasn't satisfied, because, apparently, it was wrong for me to ask answers. Thinking was out of the question. Yet, as an atheist, I was about to research and study those thoughts, my thoughts, historical thoughts, peoples thoughts; thoughts - thoughts - thoughts! I found myself with the mind of a philosopher, and began researching, accepting various philosophical foundations of my new found atheist reality. Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Socrates, Plato, Hegel, Charles Peirce, John Dewey, Kant, to even Ayn Rand. I ventured into behavioralism, existentialism, linguistics, many many forms of epistemology.

All this reading and thinking, and I found myself paying homage to the great farce that is Anton LaVey and his so-called "LaVeyan Satanism" realm of ostentatiousness atheism meets angst, and nonsense. If you don't know, Anton LaVey was a popular atheist in the 70ies and 80ies whom created a changed the meaning of Satanism, in which atheists worshiped their own identities, identical to the egoism within Ayn Rand's Objectivism. Except, LaVey, and his people had a lot of angst, and repressed insecurities with whatever abuses they experienced, or felt they experienced from their Christian upbringing. So, he created Modern Satanism, in which they idolized the egotistical concept of "Satan", while ejecting the identity of any form of deity, including the concept of a devil or a real Satan. It was merely to be mockery of  Christianity....but it was insane, as many other "sects" of "modern Satanism" also watched too much "The Crow" and wanted to believe in mysticism they made-up in their imaginations. 

I eventually realized how ridiculous it all was, after a good few months roleplaying with that group. After all, since birth, even as I considered myself "atheist", my persona, my mind, had been entirely spiritual. The dreams and experiences I had as a child. And the natural concept, and ritualistic meditations that I would find myself doing on a daily basis for at least a couple hours a day (and the visions that happened...I remember once walking in a trance, in a circle, and suddenly, the floor disappeared beneath my feet). Even as a "LaVeyanist", I had the natural ability to help people of all ages, to help them find meaning in certain dreams; listen to them as they opened up to me and give them advice, that, according to them, led them to resolution emotionally, situationally, etc. For some reason, I found philosophy, theology, history, and the "deeper" studies of thought and existence more fruitful. I spent an entire year at the age of 13 studying dreams, and the various theories behind them. 

At the age of 11, I denounced God. At the age of 12, I found myself reneging, calling myself an "agnostic", and decided to go with my deepest feelings, trust them, and if there was a god, I was going to find god in nature: thus the birth of my philosophy, "Seek God in Nature". That is where we are today, you and I.

There are many learnings I feel compelled to give, and there are many questions I have to ask. Enlightenment is the ultimate aspiration, the path out of the darkest part of the soul, where the soul meets the Divine. 

If you've read this far, thank you. Please, join me in our journey
towards seeking the answers we all would like to discover: perhaps these answers will be beyond the world we know it...beyond nature here.

"Seek God In Nature"
 (photo taken of me meditating in one of my favorite spots)